My encounter with a jealous freak || Gut Wrenching || Past Life || Childhood Bullying

Dear Readers,

Today, I am going to enlighten you with an experience that knocked the wind out of my sails and shook every cell in my body.

Before I delve into this episode, I want to tell you that if it were not for the power of ThetaHealing, I wouldn’t have understood myself well and recognized how patterns in life repeat over and over again till resolved.

The Episode

I did a 3 week teacher training ThetaHealing course called INTUITIVE ANATOMY with over 300 HEALERS all over the world.I went in with loads of enthusiasm, good intentions and a positive mindset for this course because it was dream-come-true!

Without a shadow of doubt, this course was by far the most fun course in my journey of being a Healer & Coach. I made some incredible friends, picked up a new language (French) and laughed till my stomach hurt on most days. But…

Since the very first day, I encountered a woman (a fellow healer) whose energy made me uncomfortable. Her body language,the vibes she emanated seemed dark and I don't use that word lighly! Her every comment in class and to me shouted her need to heal from past wounds.Everyone in class understood she needed extra support as she wasn't doing okay. I could suspect her jealousy and projections towards me from the moment she set her eyes on me. For the first week, I avoided making much contact with her but when we were put in a group, it became impossible to ignore her.

My flawed coping mechanism...

I did what I always have been doing when I come across a jealous person-

BE EXTRA NICE

in the hopes that that person’s jealousy will melt away (LOL, what was I thinking?).

The more our interactions increased as a result of class exercises, the more opportunities she got to make snarky, offensive, indirectly direct, under the belt remarks. She would choose to disagree with me even on things there was a clear agreement. She seemed committed to make me feel small/stupid/less than.

Day after day, her waspy comments went on & I kept overlooking them because she said it in such a sneaky way that if I were to call her out, I’d appear as a “triggered” victim. Also, a lot of the times, such people make a remark while laughing so that they pass it off as a “joke”. And this is exactly what she was doing.

So even though in hindsight it feels like I could've stood up for myself, in the actual moment it felt very tricky (and petty) to do so.

She passed a nasty comment on my husband when I wasn’t even talking to her,

she passed comments on my body,

on the bag I carried,

on my clothes (she couldn’t stand me wearing a YSL brooch & Chanel shoes because they don’t match and I shouldn’t be wearing competitive brands together),

she wanted to convince me that the brooch looked like it was popping out of my boobs- she first said this in private but when I laughed it off and changed the topic, she went ahead and started saying this in groups of people leaving no stone unturned to come at me.

Everytime she attacked me she kept proving how everything I had and stood for, reminded her of her lack. I could understand her pain and wanted to compassionately ignore. I knew I could not and I did not take her comments personally because I knew it came from roaring pain. As healers, that’s what we are trained to do, be compassionate.

When every single line was crossed || Public Meltdown

Just a day before we graduated, she crossed every single line and attacked me while I was eating my home-cooked food. All I did was sit in front of her (‘cause there was no seat empty anywhere), opened my tiffin and offered her a bite because she kept asking me what it was. She started asking me things like who made the food and the moment I said my cook made the food, it's like a flip switched in her brain and the attack started where she went on giving me a fiery lecture in a supremely condescending tone on how my home-cooked vegetable loaded food was bad, lacked protein, I have no knowledge of nutrition, I should get my facts right, no wonder my body weight is still stuck and all of this while she was sipping Coca Cola and plate was full of junk food! She knew I'd studied Nutrition and she was well aware that I had delivered a baby just a year ago.

Fun Fact: When she started off with her comments for 20 seconds, I thought she was trying be funny/sarcastic.

But when she went on and on, my body burst into a REACTION, I WAS NOW READY TO ATTACK. I knew there was no longer room and acknowledgement for the compassion and grace I had been showing.

When my body said no | Shaking, panic attack

By now, I’d had enoughhh and this move crossed all the lines so I gave her a piece of my mind standing up for myself in the strongest way I could. It was quite a show for the spectators I’m sure but I just couldn’t take it anymore. No matter how strong I appear while standing up for myself, my body hates conflicts, arguments and fights and starts to shiver in panic. I was shivering, shaking, shouting!

After I walked off, my body broke down because I was super angry and felt brutally attacked.

All I had been doing was being nice to her because she was in pain and all she did was ATTACK ATTACK & more personal ATTACK! It had to stop someday and it was this day.

(P.S… I found out that she told someone the next day that she was “just joking”.)

Pattern Recognition, Healing & Learnings

It took a good bunch of my lovely fellow healers including my teachers to help me understand that

->I had failed to set a boundary with her from day 1,

->She was the biggest annoyance for almost everyone in class and everyone was kind of sick of her energy,

->but the biggest lesson came from my teacher Tony, he said

“We cannot afford to be insulted by ignorance & big people happen to be big targets.”

He went on to explain to me how the big guns like Mark Zuckerburg, Steve Jobs, Oprah, Tony Robins, Bill Gates have been attacked and how this is an opportunity for me to learn and rise above such people. He told me that if I want to do big things, make significant changes in this world, I’m going to have to develop a thick skin and learn how to brush such energies off. He kept asking me to SHAKE IT OFF.

& here's what happened afterwards

Gut Wrenching Past Life

The moment I was able to shake it off, I went in Theta, connected to the Creator and started digging. I instantly went to a past life where I was stabbed to death in my sleep by someone I knew personally so had no boundaries with. I still remember that so vividly. I healed from that, calmed down a bit and moved forward post which a new layer came up. My body's shaking & shivering reaction stemmed from this past life memory which had gotten triggered during her final attack on my body and my food.

After this past life memory healing, I was still crying and triggered from the show down.

And mind you, everyone in that class was loving me and supporting me and started keeping distance from that lady but...that was obviously not going to heal me because there was more that needed to be healed.

Childhood Bullying || A new layer that came up to be healed

All my childhood, I’ve had a bunch jealous people around me who would fancy my things, proactively walk up to me to ask me where they were from and then mock me in front of big groups. Their jealousy and insecurity was really loud but no adult (teachers who I begged for help) took action. No one stood up for me! But that day in class, my teachers and my classmates did. Both my teachers- Maya & Tony supported and backed me. All they had to do was tell me that they understand and how this attack is an opportunity for me to learn. They kindly reminded me that this experience was an opportunity to heal and they reminded me that I was the one who attracted this!

My teachers Maya & Tony broke my pattern (limiting beliefs):

My teachers never support me.

My teachers never understand me.

My teachers will never take my side.

My teachers do not have my back.

This pattern was shattered the moment my teachers (Maya & Tony) embraced me with love, validation, kindness and really really good advice!

Why do we attract jealousy? Why did I attract it?

A big part of me knows that some of us attract jealousy because it is a reminder to us that we are better and doing good - I know this but I didn’t have this belief.

What I perhaps had was-

DOUBT in my own gut feeling because I knew she was jealous but didn't want to trust my gut feeling ... somewhere I wanted the Universe to prove if she was really jealous or was it just in my head because I used to believe that

If I think someone is jealous of me, I'm being egoistic and self centered.

I couldn't and didn't want to believe that someone could be jealous of me!

Me? ME? WHY WOULD SOMEONE BE JEALOUS OF ME? I'm so nicee yaaaar!

Never doubt your gut feeling

The day I witnessed this nasty woman from class lay her eyes on me, I knew she was envious and only projecting her issues onto me but I doubted my feelings because I thought I am making it up in my head and I should ground myself. Sometimes, people “think” the other person is jealous to feel good about themselves- but… in my case, that is far from the truth. Had I recognised & acknowledged my gut feeling and called her out on that first snarky comment she “indirectly” passed on my husband, it wouldn’t have escalated. By indirect I mean to a group of people sitting across her and not to my face. Also, I kept dimming my light and tried to be extra nice to her (as well all those nasty people from my childhood) with the hopes that their jealousy would automatically get resolved! I should have understood then and there that someone else’s jealousy is not my issue to resolve- it is theirs! I realised that I was and had everything she was manifesting so I was a constant reminder to her of her lack. But being the humble bee that I am, I try not to focus on such thoughts which are on many occasions- the bitter truth!

More LESSONS & LEARNINGS

It blows to see and witness such people because I’ve never experienced anyone as nasty as this girl & those kids from my childhood who would bully me non-stop because I had better things than them. I believe I’ve learnt my lesson the hard way to:

-> draw ‘stronger than ever’ boundaries especially around those I do not get a good vibe from,

-> call out people who attack me THEN & THERE instead of waiting for them to cross a line,

-> I can’t afford to be insulted by ignorance,

->to never dim my light just because it’s blinding for another person,

->big people make big targets so it’s okay and I must learn let such things roll off my back,

-> trust my feeling when I get a sense of bad vibration from another person &

-> stay the heck away from those who project their insecurities and look for people to vomit their traumas on through personal attack!

Almost every crowd has one to a few people like this woman because their traumas are not resolved as a result of which they lash out & project on others. They are so much in pain that seeing others happy & thriving infuriates them and makes them want to bog others down. Now mind you, they are not the same with everyone- they are selective of their target. The person who reminds them of their lack the most and the person who they think they “can” compare themselves to… they become ‘aunt sally’!

Had it not been for ThetaHealing- such brilliant pattern recognition and resolution method, I wouldn’t have come to grips with so much learning within such a short span...

As of now, I’ve decided to be sassier than ever, stronger than ever and more of a ‘zero tolerance for nonsense’ kinda gal! And I've fueled my mind with beliefs that I do not need such people to learn valuable lessons.

If you have such toxic people in your life, my heart goes out to you. I send you love and light.

If you wish to resolve the same, feel free to book in a session with me ‘cause…

I’d REALLLLY understand!

Love & Gratitude,

Sia (Aakansha)

It's been 3+ years since incident and I can say with swelled pride... I've not attracted anyone like this jealous freak because

I DO NOT ALLOW IT,

I WILL NOT ALLOW IT.